Last August, I wrote about leaving the city I had come of age in and how it felt to leave all of my friends behind. As it turned out, I would get a job within the next couple of months, move out of my place in Minnesota, say goodbye to my temporary roommates (Mom and Dad), zip down I-94 and start a new life in my old town.
Now it’s almost one year later. Time flies, and I find myself thinking about how much movement happens in August and how much change occurs before the leaves turn shades of orange and red in this beautiful college town. New blood revitalizes the city and the old guard is packing up, leaving and transitioning to a new stage in their lives.
For the first time, I’m not part of it. My life is comparatively stagnant, though not necessarily in a bad way. I’d be completely immune to the moving and shaking of the August rush (a new apartment with a good friend barely counts as change) but for the fact that some of my best friends are moving on.
It’s a strange feeling watching friends you’ve known for some of the most formative years of your life leave. I’ve gone through it a few times, but this time it seems more potent, more permanent, because the last batch of my college friends without jobs in Madison are taking off. On one hand, I feel happy for them, because I know they’re headed out to chase their future and become the types of people they always dreamed of becoming.
On the other hand, it’s such a huge sadness to see cardboard boxes packed with memories you helped create fade away, down East Washington or Gorham headed towards their next big adventure. Pieces of a “me” that no longer exists are in those boxes, pieces that only remain in memories and pictures and deep pangs of nostalgia. As much as I dread watching my friends leave, I’m also mourning a past version of myself that they take with them.
It’s weird to be on the other side of moving out. I know that I have a life here, and I’m very happy with it, but I can’t help but wonder what life will be like without being in the same zip code as some of the people I’ve formed deep bonds with. I’m worried that after they leave, I’m going to be a less interesting person.
Then again, I know myself well enough to understand that I’ll never be happy with myself if I get complacent. I’ll always be chasing fun and running away from boredom. I’m not friendless in this town by any measurement. I still have a network of people I consider some of my best friends. I’m meeting people I barely knew in college, people who were only ancillary characters in my life’s story, and we’re becoming very close. We cling to each other because we all haven’t quite figured out how to make new friends, and I’ve started to figure out what amazing people they are. I also work with some very cool people, many of which I consider friends.
Everyone will move on eventually, and so will I, and we’ll go through these motions all over again. And that’s ok, because this change is good. It’s movement. There’s really nothing to worry about, because it’s all part of life. I can take solace in the fact that wherever my college friends are, and whatever they do, we’re inextricably linked to a particular time and place together. We’ll carry those memories with us, and they’ll help shape who we become.
So here’s to old friends dispersed across the country, starting new lives and starting over. For now it’s so long and goodbye, but I have a feeling our paths are bound to cross again. My couch is always open.
In less than 45 days, I will no longer be a student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I will have graduated from the School of Business with a double major in Marketing and MHR-Management. At this point, I’ll have graduated without finding a permanent “real-person” job. Let’s just all let life sink in for a second.
People keep asking me if I’m ready to graduate, if I’m excited for whatever comes next, etc etc. I never have any idea how to answer them because there are so many emotions associated with it: fear, anticipation, exhiliration, fun, sadness…pretty much all of the above. Most of all, an overwhelming sense of confusion is the way I guess I could describe it, because after graduation life is just one big uncertainty at this point.
I’ve had my fair share of fun (and your share, too) in the last four years and I’d like to think I’ve learned a few things in class. But, more than academics, I think the learning has been going on outside of the classroom. Things you learn when you aren’t attempting to learn seem more relevant to me: time management, budgeting, social skills, stress management. These aren’t usually things I would associate with school, though most of them are applicable to the classroom as well.
The point is, while I’m not discounting what I’ve learned from school, I’ve learned a whole lot more about myself and my abilties on my down-time.
What’s Next. I have no idea, and most of the people I’ve talked to have no idea either. I would venture to say 75% of the people I know who are looking for post-grad “real-person” work are stilll searching, still applying, still interviewing. With less than 45 days left, we’re scrambling. We’re scared, confused, and uncertain. Still, we’ve survived 4 years at UW and lived to tell about it, so we shouldn’t be. We’re intelligent, we’re talented, and we’re adaptable. That should be about enough for anyone to want us.
This all being said, here are a few things I’ve learned.
- Interviewing is like bad speed-dating. You go in, talk to a person you’ve never met about yourself for a half-hour, and then hope they ask you for a second date. There’s a fair share of awkward pauses, forced laughter, and plenty of fake smiles. All of this is done hoping you’ll somehow make a connection and will begin a long-term relationship.
- Applying for jobs is a crapshoot. Half of the jobs you want, you’ll never hear from. There are scam jobs out there, preying on people like us. It’s a minefield, people, and we’re all on our own.
- There’s got to be a better way to get a job. Interviews and resumes just encourage us to lie, embellish, and generally act fake. This is all fine and well for speed-dating, but just will lead to disappointment when they learn you aren’t who you say you are. With all of the blogs, social media sites, etc available we should be able to be ourselves. People could learn more about me from my facebook, twitter, and writing than through “tell me about a time when…” questions.
I think I like the idea of writing again, so maybe next entry will be something about our generation, the so-called “millenials.” There’s a lot to be said.